Today I’m writing to share my “After Sex” routine that I have found to be extremely helpful with reducing pain. Before I go into detail I just wanted to take a minute to let you all know that posts here may be infrequent due to not feeling the need to post articles that I feel are just wasting space, in other words I write only when I feel that I have valuable information to share. I started this site because I realized that there really weren’t any good places for women to go for sex and relationship advice while living with a chronic illness/pain. As we all know, the advice that’s given to a woman without these conditions often differs from the advice needed for those of us who do have painful pelvic conditions. My goal is to create a space for women with Endometriosis, Adenomyosis, Pelvic Floor Dysfunction, Interstitial Cystitis, Vulvodynia, and other vulval-vaginal and gynecological conditions to come to feel support and to gain useful information. If you’re stumbling upon my site for the first time I hope you’ll take the time to read through/share past articles. Try to think of my site as an informational resource as well as an opinion blog from someone who has gone through the worst and come out on the other side. I try to provide wholly accurate information in addition to my own thoughts and feelings.
Just to recap, I’m two years post op Excision of Endometriosis, (please type endometriosis excision into the search bar if you’re hearing this for the first time and/or visit endopaedia.info) a Presacral Neurectomy (PSN) for Adenomyosis, and Pelvic Floor PT for Pelvic Floor Dysfunction and Vulvodynia. For the first time a couple of weeks ago I had completely painless sex and my sex drive has been higher than I can remember. It has been a long process and I do still have some daily pains and inconveniences. Sex is not always painless, but now instead of having painful sex all of the time, it is now becoming the rarity. There’s no magic fix to achieving painless sex. Each of us is different and a big part is addressing these painful conditions and trying different methods until we find what works for us. Before I list my “After Sex” routine I want to impress upon you all how important it is to be consistent. My After Sex routine isn’t something I do only once in a while after sex, I do it EVERY single time after sex. It’s taken me TWO YEARS to have more instances of completely painless sex. I don’t say this to deter anyone, but rather to help you all understand that being pain free is often a process. Is it going to take 2 years for you to have pain free sex? It could, but it may only take you weeks or months. We’re all different and our bodies may need more or less time to adjust and recover. Don’t be discouraged and always work toward your goals.
My After Sex Routine:
- Immediately urinate after sex.
- Fill up a bath with warm/hot water (I prefer hot water myself) and soak for at least 5 minutes. You can use a wet wash cloth if you need to clean up if you’re not using condoms, or if you need to wash off any lubricant, but try not to use anything that could be an irritant i.e. soaps, especially perfumed soaps. I usually just tuck my top into my bra, or tuck the bottom of my night shirt down into my neck line to keep it out of the way. There’s no need to take a full on bath (unless you want to) the goal is to let your vagina soak in clean warm water so you only need to fill the tub up a bit. **If you don’t have a bath tub consider purchasing a sitz bath, or if you have a detachable shower head use it to gently spray your vulva**
- Pat yourself dry and put on some fresh panties (cotton panties are considered to be the least irritating) and a loose fitting night gown or pajama pants.
- *Optional* This step is one I generally don’t need to use anymore, but if you’re having a lot of vaginal pain/irritation you can also try filling up a hot water bottle, wrapping it in a towel, pillow case, blanket, or some other barrier and placing it directly in between your thighs right up against your vulva and sleeping with it in place. I find particularly if you suffer from vestibulodynia (irritation of the vaginal opening) it helps to soothe the pain. You can also do this with ice if you prefer it just make sure to ALWAYS have a barrier between your skin and the heat/ice pack.
Simple enough? It may not seem like routines like this can make a big difference, but consistency is the key. Rarely do we ever have something that can cure all of our ills in one night. Even medication needs time to work when we’re sick. I encourage you to try my routine and/or tweak it to create your own. Even when you don’t have pain I encourage you to keep up with your routine. It’s always good to practice self love and pamper yourself.
If you ever have any thoughts or questions please don’t hesitate to comment or send a message on the PeachTalk Facebook page, or Tweet @P3achTalk on Twitter. PeachTalk is all about being the #1 place for sex and relationship advice for those with Endometriosis, Adenomyosis, PFD, Interstitial Cystitis, Vulvodynia, and other vulval-vaginal and pelvic pain disorders. There is no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed. Sex and relationships are a natural part of life and I, for one, embrace it. Until next time XO